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Woot today I get my last paycheck from where I used to work.





That means FOOD.



We have barely any food in the house and I'm fucking hungry.

Sitting here thinking I keep wondering if I really deserve this.



Life keeps throwing crap in my way. I just want to live my life normally and that isn't happening.



I have to work around my depression more and more it seems. Hell I slept most of today. As good as it was I can't keep that up.



And I know this sounds crazy, but my character in dofus is falling for another character in dofus.



Not the people lol

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my body hurts, i am hungry, and i want to get a faygo but the store is closed already...





seriously, what convenience store closes at 8????



not very fucking convenient there...

Well for the next day I won't be online as much. -.-



I have to go to a wedding tomorrow that I'm a bridesmaid in. It is John's best friend that is getting married to a Croatian girl he met on Dofus. (yes they met and everything before deciding to get married lol)



She is a sweetheart and she asked me to be a bridesmaid last time they were over for dinner. I had no problems with it. Plus John is the best man lol



I just hope things work well for them. If not for the sake of love, but for their baby girl that is on the way.

This morning I rolled over and started to get really sharp pains in my back.



I thought that maybe getting up and moving a bit would help. I was really wrong. Now I'm in pain, tired, and cranky. I think I'll take some meds and pray that I can get back to sleep.





-.-





And if I have any typos its because I'm dead tired right now.

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Sinora
14:07 Mar 19 2008

I know how you feel....I find heat pads work wonders, hope you feel better soon.

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*kick kick kick*





God dammit I just want to punch something other than my wall. -.-





I'm pissed off for some reason. I hate how my hormones are acting like a fecking crazy person.





*kick kick kick*

I hate myself.





I really know I should lose the 50 pounds, but it is way too hard for me to do that. I really have issues keeping weight off me.



-.-



I feel icky too.

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crowgirl
00:02 Mar 16 2008

I know we've never talked or anything, but, in my opinion, you look beautiful! There is way too much pressure for women nowadays to fit the *ideal* look. My opinion? however YOU feel good, is the best way to be :)

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My hair looks awesome. Its red at the top and throughout the bottom. I love how it turned out.





Oh and I shaved(legs). Don't think anyone cares though.

Karma, ain't it a bitch?



Seriously in the last few days I have been thinking more and more about that. A few years back I was running around being a little whore and doing my drugs. Now I am too scared to leave the house and have cancer. Kind of ironic isn't it?



I do have to say this, lies come back to haunt the shit of me. I'm hoping this will teach me the best lesson ever.



This doesn't really make much sense to me either. It is just a way out.



As Stan said yesterday, just keep busy writing so that I can focus on other things. If it doesn't make sense to anyone then just brush it off. It is for my own sake not theirs.



Man I love that Russian lol.



Oh and I forgot to add how I found out that Olive Garden doesn't card. We went out to dinner last night and as we sat down they offered us a sample of their wine. I declined and then ordered my coffee.



I could have taken a drink if I wanted to, but that one drink would probably be the end of it for me. I have done a great job with my recovery so far. I don't need that crap to ruin it.



Mind you, I NEVER had a drinking problem. This is the exact thing my counselor told me in rehab.



"Your problem with drinking is that you aren't legal to do so. You are a more responsible drinker than most adults I have seen. If you drink you won't harm anything."



To me it doesn't really matter. I gave up on everything like that. Yes, I will have drinks at my wedding. Why? Because if I don't my mother won't attend lol



Well I'm off to eat my food for the day and take my icky meds.

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KCRC
11:41 Mar 14 2008

*Hugs*

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Here are a few thoughts I leave you with today.



Peeps should come in resealable packages to prevent peep overload.



Sneezing should not hurt.



Doctors suck ass. Even more so when they want you to see a mental therapist.



I need a new mouse.



Olive Garden doesn't card for alcohol.



And my pills are huge. :'(

Tonight I was rushed to the hospital. I started to bleed and have pieces of tissue in that blood. For the last 6 months I have been dealing with cervical cancer and not getting treated. Today it got worse. They ran some tests on me at the hospital and then sent me home. The cancer has moved from stage one to stage two. Because of this I am being rushed into treatment tomorrow. I will be able to be home a lot, but this means missing a lot of work for me. Currently there is no sign as to if I am infertile or anything like that. The only good sign is that the hospital I went to is paying for my treatment. I will let everyone know what is going on as well.



Yes, this is the exact thing I put in the House. I'm too tired to type it again. lol

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queenmorbid
12:15 Mar 11 2008

Been there myself with cervical cancer, as well as breast cancer, so I will be thinking of you and praying to all the gods I can that you are ok. *hugs*

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KCRC
18:17 Mar 11 2008

*Hugs*



I will add you to my prayers Abstract. I know you can beat this.

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Vampirewitch39
20:43 Mar 12 2008

*cuddles with the ferret*

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sneezing shouldn't hurt me -.-



I HATE BEING SICK

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MysticMoon
03:13 Mar 10 2008

aww *hugs sweetie hope u get better soon

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So today I'm calling Tampa area stores. I got a business named Fuzzie Buddies. I am thinking I'm going to check it out this weekend. The name was awesome. lol

So today I discovered a few things that I want to share with the great wide world.



1) On my way to work the bus was going past the casino and I look up and see a billboard for a hot-line number to call if you have a gambling problem...That isn't too smart to do if you ask me.



2) I smacked Raz on the head while we were waiting to go home(in the rain mind you) and all of a sudden a siren went off. I smacked him again and it stopped. It was awesome.



3) There was a random flag sticking out of the middle of a river. No clue as to how it was there, it just was.



4) When I call a business and say I'm from google, why the hell would you hang up on me? I could be telling you that there is something wrong with your listing(like I am doing) DUH



5) Don't try and call a restaurant supply store. They are all owned by Asians that don't speak English well.





That is my Google goodness for today.

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Vampirewitch39
14:40 Mar 05 2008

You did not smack him to see if it would come back on??? What is wrong with you. lol

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